Mimi Allen Age: 18

Ballsack University finals are in full swing, and as the resident campus nerd coaches his roommate in the finer points of calculus, an unexpected knock on the door interrupts their studies. By golly, it's a horny freshman dressed in pink lingerie and rabbit ears who politely asks, "is this the dressed to get laid party?" Needless to say, the boys drop the books and swap their pens for their pricks in a New York nano second. Looks like our nerd picks up the 'ol in and out pretty quick as he declares in classic nerd fashion, "this vagina is swell!"